Sexting Issues in Couples Counseling

Infidelity Blog

“I know he’s having an affair” “I think my husband is having an emotional affair with one of his co-workers” “My wife is cheating on me with her phone”

As a couples counselor in Irvine, California, I hear these complaints, or similar ones quite often. Yes, the same phones that make our lives a lot easier, also make it easier to have an affair.

This is a difficult discovery for my clients, and I make it a priority to clarify and affirm them at this time of betrayal. First, we clarify the truth of their perceptions and once clarified, the betrayed partner requires support and affirmation along with skills that empower them.

Couples usually come into counseling with me feeling frustrated and misunderstood by their partner. A betrayal is a total disconnection and involves a reality shift. This reality shift leads to arguing, hurt, and anger. Without counseling, their thoughts eventually shift to dissolving the relationship. Miscommunication about the breach of trust, leads to further issues in their relationship.

Couples Counseling after a betrayal, can help you and your partner have an improved relationship. We will explore the meaning of this transgression, and what led up to it. In my experience the couples that are committed to therapy and each other work through the healing process, and then create a stronger relationship bond than they previously had. Their old relationship destroyed and the new one takes its place. This time built on more openness and truth.

Here are my 3 steps to healing after a betrayal.

1. Accepting the relationship is a lie and allow for time grief and healing.
2. Disclosure of transgressions to enable trust to begin.
3. Discover a new relationship built on a strong foundation.

This process begins when you make that first call. I’m Dr. Kerns and I am an Experienced Couples Counselor. Couples counseling can help to change relationship patterns into dynamic interactions where relationships thrive, even after a betrayal.

Sessions are designed to generate an understanding of the viewpoint of the partner. From this understanding we work together to build the relationship by a blending of the strengths and weaknesses of each partner.

Success is achieved by a consistent working through of issues, each time with the partners taking more responsibility with the tools that they have learned from previous sessions. I have helped many couples heal and discover meaning, and I can help you.

If you need help with this indiscretion in your relationship, please call me
at 949-285-5199.

I am located at: 4199 Campus Drive, Suite #550
Irvine, CA 92612


Are you flying solo in your partnership ?

Try Couples Counseling

In a Partnership its easy to have a loss of focus on the relationship over time. One person will come home from work and greet their partner in a more or less, routine way. Somehow this has become a negative repeating pattern of INATTENTION.

“Hi Honey, how was your day/” While this might sound like a caring greeting when the relationship is new, after hearing this 365 days X many years of marriage, what does it really mean? In my Private Practice, focusing on Couples Counseling, this routine greeting is meant to be a welcoming hello, but many times it turns out to be less than engaging.

TIPS for Connecting with your partner:
1. Agree on a shared meaning for your interactions. In the example above, this automatic greeting could mean “Im tired, give me ten minutes to unwind. before we attempt a meaningful conversation.”
2. Vary your routine. Meet at a coffee shop for a relaxing cup of Lavendar Tea before going home to begin the evening.
3. Schedule a Date Night once a week. Dress for your partner with the same interest, as when you began dating.

If your not at the level of arranging these three suggestions, it may indicate that you could benefitt from a Counseling Session in my office.

I’m more than happy to help at 949-285-5199

I’m in Irvine at:

The University Tower – UCI Adjacent
4199 CampusDrive, Suite 550
Irvine, California 92612