The Betrayal is real. What does this mean? The past years events take on new meaning, causing the cheated on partner to feel disoriented. Redefining past memories is exhausting. The betrayed partner’s life was not what they believed it to be. What does this mean for the partnership? How can Couples Counseling with Dr. Marie Kerns in Irvine help?
My first concern is supporting the betrayed partner, and you may wonder how I do that? I make it very clear that past perceptions of concern were real. There are times before the discovery of infidelity, that questions and accusations filled the air. The offending party typically defends themselves using a defense mechanism that shifts the anxiety and guilt from themselves – to blame on the partner. That is, they find an insignificant fault of the partner and blow it up, totally changing the subject. This is called crazy making, and it is emotional abuse. In my sessions with couples, I name it, and explain how it works. You would think this new awareness would end the offending partners’ continuing to blame their partner. Well, it does not, initially. Accepting responsibility is a process and it may take time.
In our weekly sessions, we discuss issues such as this, and more. The betrayed partners perceptions are supported, and they becomes empowered to trust themselves first, and their intuition, when something seems off alignment.
Going beyond the infidelity, is vital to building a new relationship. We end the old, mourn the loss, and build a new partnership that is based on honesty, trust, and fidelity. This happens over time, which is dependent on the couple, and how they navigate this new relationship. Building a new relationship is at the heart of Connecting Couples.
Please visit DrMarieKerns.com to learn more about me, where I am located, and my Fees. You may also call me at 949-285-5199. I would be honored to work with you.